There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Drunk is not a location!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
