when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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