3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
