the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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