At least make sure they are 18
Why
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
