I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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