Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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