New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
