There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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