Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
