Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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