i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
