Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
