What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
