In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
