everyone is single if you try hard enough
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
