Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
