Betty ford says i'm here all night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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