My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
