ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
