we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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