Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
