What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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