her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
