Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
