NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
