i will never coherently bang her
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
