Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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