Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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