omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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