I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
