you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
