I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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