I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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