O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
