Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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