oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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