dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
