oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
