Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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