No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
