I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
