Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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