A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
