I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
