I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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