To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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