Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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