guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
