We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
