She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
