Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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