Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
